Growing up, I always wanted to be like the women I saw on the movie screen. I admired the strong independent outdoorsy woman. I reveled in the sexy self-assured mysteriously elegant goddess. I sided with the dark forbidden outsider and understood her issues of self-esteem. I related to the woman hanging out with the guys, sharing secrets, shyly flirting, feeling more myself than with the girls. And I secretly coveted the virtuous, monogamous, faithful partnership of the woman on the other side of the room in the twin bed. These in between moments are perhaps subtle nuances, but remain big in my psyche.